Happy Halloween Oct 31, 2015 Isn’t that life?

I was determined this week.  I was going to have some fun things to put up. I would take some cute pictures each day and have a fun blog, and now, here I am at the last minute scrambling for my TTOT.  Well, isn’t that life.  Add to that and trying to deal with some real sad situations today, and it is all catching up with me.  I will try and bring up the fun and deal with the rest.

10)  The week started, (or should I say ended?) with a night at the local band tournament.  It was a beautiful night out.  All three of my kids had been in band in high school and this was a busy time dealing with band tournaments and band fundraising and band practices.  Now we seldom have any connection, but it was nice to sit out and enjoy the tournament without feeling competitive.  All the bands did well, from what I could tell and it was impressive. Life is changing and moving on.

MCHS Band Tournament 2015 001 MCHS Band Tournament 2015 002

The second picture is the sun setting on the hill behind the stadium.  Just so pretty.

9)  We enjoyed babysitting our granddaughter a couple of days this week.  She can be wild for only being six months old.  Unfortunately, I cannot figure out how to get the video on here, but she can bounce and holler in her seat and just refuse to give it up for a nap.

wildwoman Kayla Oct 26th 2015 001 wildwoman Kayla Oct 26th 2015 008

Finally, after enough jumping and a little bottle, she had to give in for five minutes !

8) I did manage to go get my hair cut on Friday.  I have been needing to do that, and finally was able to make it happen…so much better now, but no picture of it. So much for documenting everything…just have to put it to life getting in the way.

7) I convinced my husband to take me out to dinner.  We seldom go out to eat, and especially not just the two of us.  It was a quick trip to California Pizza Kitchen.  We split a delicious salad and a pizza.  It was nice to be out.   I didn’t get a picture.  😦

6) Last week I only had to work half days.  Naturally, I didn’t get paid for the other half, but it was nice to get some time off.  Now, I wonder where that time went.  I can’t think of a thing I accomplished with it. Just busy with life I suppose.

5) Well, now it seems that I have gotten the obvious thankfulness out of the way, and I am down to what I am struggling with today.  I am feeling very lonely.  I am trying to be thankful for all the time I have had with people, but it is not easy.  I will explain more in a minute.

Last Sunday, my husband and I went to a meeting at church that is trying to start  a process to find a new pastor as ours has retired.  One lady, that is the wife of someone my husband use to work with, invited me to go to another church event with her and sit at her table.  I know i need to make new connections, and I have a lot of reasons why I am too busy to do that.  I am grateful that she did ask. It isn’t like I know her well, so I need to make a call and see if that seat is still open.  I am grateful for the offer.

4) I am missing my very best friend that I have spent many many days with.  We moved here when my daughter was a year and a half old, and she lived two doors down and had a daughter the same age.  We spent many  a morning over coffee, just enjoying the day.  This year, after 30 years of being around, she moved to Kansas City.  I am grateful for the time we had together and for the internet and for the way we still can connect, but it isn’t the same, and I am missing her.

3) I am dealing with my elderly parents.  I do have sisters, but they have nothing to do with anything here.  They live far away.  I have to deal with my parents finances, bills and going to see them. Oh yes, and my sisters did want to make sure that everything gets split up evenly between us.  They are not the least bit worried that the work and worry is not split evenly.  I am trying to be grateful that I have this time with my parents.  They are not well. Dad has a Parkinsons condition and mom has alzheimers.  It is a challenge.  Gratitude is difficult.  I was over at the living facility today, and had to feed dad.  Then there was suppose to be a Halloween party.  They never came to tell my parents.  Turns out, it was upstairs where the non-alzheimers people are.  We did take mom and dad up for a few minutes, but it was tiring for dad.  It really was not set up for them. They had gotten some of the alzheimers people there, so I am not sure why they didn’t get my parents.  On top of that, my dad’s bag for his urine had not been emptied.  We have gone over this with the facility before, and if it isn’t emptied, he can get an infection.  I had to hunt someone down to get it done. I could have done it myself, but was not going to have them not realize it should have been done.  (Sorry about the poor sentence structure.)  My husband does help me with all this, but there are disagreements as to what I should and should not be doing, and I don’t always appreciate what he says or does and I do feel very alone in it.  I know he thinks he is being supportive, but I just don’t feel it. I just feel alone in all of this mess.

2) Today, my daughter and her boyfriend and their baby headed up to Oregon.  I want to be grateful that they are getting on with their lives.  He has three job interviews up there.  They will stay with my mother-in-law.  She is so excited about seeing the baby.  I really am happy that they are getting these opportunities, but that means they will be a long way from me.  I know that when my kids were little, we moved a long way from anyone and I loved that time with just our little family.  I will really miss having them around.

  1. So now it comes down to feeling lonely and having to deal with all of that.  And it is time to  go pick myself up by my bootstraps and carry on.  I am not sick and I have at least a part time job and I have a house, a car, food and a good haircut.  What more could you ask for.  Time to get on with life.
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14 thoughts on “Happy Halloween Oct 31, 2015 Isn’t that life?

  1. Clark Scottroger

    I’ve found, since joining in on this here bloghop, that the act of participation is often the only tangible benefit, but that that, at times is enough. There are lists of things (one is grateful for) and there are lists of things (that one sends in on the weekend). I often am in the second category, but I believe that I still benefit.
    very difficult with the parents as simply being in the environment (of a assisted living facility) can wear a person down. its’ good that there are people around you that care (the woman inviting you to the church event).

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  2. GirlieOnTheEdge

    You began with the positives 🙂 I hope that you can always begin that way even when your heart weighs heavily. Even if at times it feels like an “act”.
    Grandbabies, a new “doo” and pizza? Most definitely thankfuls! (A new haircut goes a long way to making us feel better doesn’t it? lol)
    She is sleeping so soundly! I bet you thought that moment would never come 😀
    You have a heartbreaking responsibility. My heart truly goes out to you. I’m not huge on group things but perhaps a support group would help? My Dad had Parkinson’s. I remember talking with a friend’s mother one afternoon in their kitchen. Her mother’s mother had Parkinson’s disease and in the middle of our conversation, I found myself overcome with emotion. I realized what it was like to talk with someone who could empathize. It made a huge difference simply knowing someone else knew exactly what I was going through.
    It’s difficult I know to make those new connections but give it a shot. More often than not it’s worth the effort 🙂

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    1. summertimewanderer Post author

      Thank you. I was thinking of how easy it is to tell total strangers here on the internet what I am dealing with, and yet I cannot bring myself to talk to someone standing next to me. I know I need to make connections, and yet I don’t do it. Seems like just another thing I don’t have time for in my life. Thanks for the encouragement to look for it.

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  3. Vanessa D.

    A good hair cut can fix a lot, but not everything. Even if you are happy for your daughter and her family, you’re allowed to grieve a bit over what was while you make the transition to what is.

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  4. dyannedillon

    Those half days are a double edged sword, aren’t they? Nice to have the time off, but not so nice to be missing out on the money.
    You need to fly to KC and visit your friend. KCI is one of the cheapest airports to fly into, so you should be able to get a good fare. Go some time between Thanksgiving and New Year’s and visit the Plaza and see the lights. Gorgeous!
    I was thinking about you and your parents yesterday. My mom is getting her pacemaker replaced on Tuesday. She fell Thursday, though, stepping off the curb when she was going to her car that was parked on the square after coffee with her friends. She didn’t break anything, but she’s terribly bruised and in a lot of pain, and my dad says the combination of pain meds and muscle relaxant is making her beyond dopey. Hoping things get better with the new pacemaker.
    Hang in there, friend!

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  5. Kristi

    I’m sorry that you are feeling alone, and hope that writing about it, and reading comments from your readers, helps a bit. My grandma has Alzheimer’s and is in a care facility, and I know that my mom is constantly there making sure that Grandma is well. I feel bad that I am not in the same state to help more often. (My situation is flip-flopped from yours–I am in CA and they are in OR, while your daughter is in OR and you are in CA.) It’s not an easy situation.

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  6. Pat B

    To be able to review the past week both the good and the bad and then try to realize the things that matter most, the things for which we are most grateful brings some degree of healing and a desire to keep moving forward. Hearing about the challenges of others also helps us not to feel quite so alone, even if the trials might not be identical to our own. Perhaps your folks weren’t taken up to the Halloween party based on the thinking it might be too much stimulation for them. My mother is in a nursing center and has Alzheimer’s. Too many people being around and too many activities and sights is way too much stimulation for her. I was just today reviewing some information about Alzheimer’s and other types of dementia at online sites as well as in some of the reference books I have. There may be people within your own church who have relatives with Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s who know of some support groups. The alz.org site has a 1-800 helpline that you can call 24/7. Wishing a feeling of peace and knowing that others care.

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  7. herheadache

    That’s you could have a dinner out. Dealing with aging parents and friends and children moving away can’t be easy and would make anyone lonely. Hope for people, here or in real life, to talk to to help fill those voids.

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