“A day late and a dollar short”. Seems like I am always running behind. Things I should of, could of, would of, if I had been better prepared. Part of learning to appreciate things that happen, seems to me to be appreciating doing what you can, and letting the rest go.
I showed up at my parents facility today, to see that today was the day they were having a Thanksgiving meal. I had thought about going to this, but never got around to answering the notice. Many of the “upstairs” people were having a nice meal. The “generations” group downstairs, was also having a nice meal, but nothing like upstairs. The downstairs group are the Alzheimer people, or other conditions that make just doing the normal almost impossible. One lady was screaming because people were “coming into my house”. It makes it strange. My dad is stuck in his bed, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing today. My mom was in the dining room, but it was so crowded, she and I went and sat on the patio, and that worked much better. It was what it was, and I was glad I hadn’t tried to make a big deal out of it. My parents wouldn’t remember it, and it wasn’t worth worrying about.
My daughter and granddaughter moved to Oregon this week. She meant to get over to see my parents, but didn’t make it over there. She was telling me she will feel guilty if they die and she didn’t get to see them. I told her not to feel guilty. It is what it is, and they wouldn’t remember it anyway. You have to do what you can, and let the rest go. The last few days with them were fun.
So, now let’s make a list. Ten things to be thankful for…and let the the things that didn’t happen go.
10) I saw a video of Kid President doing a Thankful list. He listed funny things, such as funny words, like windbreaker. Cake. So many of the day to day things we take for granted. It was funny and made me laugh. When they had a paper at work to write down things you are thankful for, and most people were putting down, “family and friends”…I thought of Kid President and put “muffins”.
9) Really thankful for the caregiver that has taken the extra time and effort to take care of my parents while I have been very busy elsewhere. She stayed at the hospital, and really was the voice that was needed.
8) Trying not to be too OCD. I am writing this post and trying to not let it bother me that they have changed the way this works. I am getting through this, but they don’t have the “save” button at the bottom. It will save it automatically now, which is a good thing that I SHOULD be grateful for, but I only want to go and hit the “save” button. I will get through this, and I know that at some point would I would have “lost” my writing, I will be grateful that the post was automatically saved. I never considered myself too OCD, but this just shows how bad I am. Trying to be thankful for automatically saving !!!
7) My dad was in the hospital, and they kept telling me that this was the end of his life. I asked for another 24 hours before they sent him back. In those 24 hours he got better. He isn’t perfectly recovered, and is somewhat confused and sleeping a lot, but is holding his own. I have learned the reason that you do not want to your loved one on hospice. They do take over and try to get you not to do anything for your loved one. And there are “rules” that keep you from getting what you want. It gets complicated, but to simply state it, this past week, I came to hate hospice. He is still on hospice, and they do some things that are helpful, such as providing a hospital bed and people that come and help on occasion, but overall, you are giving up much of what you want done. At any rate, I am thankful that dad is back at the facility and holding his own.
6) I must also say that I am thankful for the nurses and doctors that were helpful. There were a few. Thank you especially goes out to Tonya. She was a good nurse.
5) My daughter and granddaughter and my daughter’s boyfriend moved to Oregon this week. We spend extra time taking care of my granddaughter while they were trying to organize everything else. I am thankful that this past week also coincided with the sixth graders being at camp, allowing me to take afternoons off.
4) I am thankful for the time with my husband and granddaughter this week. We went to the mall and just walked around and had coffee on the mall. It is an outdoor mall, and the sun was shining, the weather perfect and we had fun. Another day, we went to the park and had a walk and swung on swings, then went and walked around a bookstore. Great times. They are gone now, but I am glad I had these times together.
3) I went to a dinner at the church. I received an invitation from someone that I really didn’t know very well. I have been to these “women’s dinners” before and sat there not really knowing anyone, and feeling very out of place. I went determined to be friendly. I was able to sit with a couple of very nice ladies. I also saw some people that I hadn’t seen in a long time. Sometimes it is difficult to put yourself out there. I am thankful that this dinner went well.
2) The lady at the church was speaking on how to get through the holidays, and make them more “Christ-like”. I had been to a dinner like this before and the other speaker was making a hundred lists of things to do. I had been exhausted by the end of the dinner, knowing I would never do any of those things. This lady was different. She reminded us that is is ok to let go of some things. If you had given someone gifts for years, it doesn’t mean you still have to give them gifts. Maybe it is time to let some of it go. I am thankful for that reminder.
1)The other note that I am thankful for came from the dinner. The speaker also had this message. “It’s not the things we do that make us tired, It’s the things left undone that wear us out.” It is a strange thought. It is the thought of all the things we could of, should of, would of done, had we the time and energy. She reminded us it was ok not to do everything. Enjoy the things you do and let the rest go. If we compare ourselves to others, we will think, I should go to the church play, go to the breakfast, go get more presents, go and go and go, and we will always end up regretting what we didn’t do. If you do that, you will never enjoy what you did. I am trying to remember that message, and appreciate what I am doing.