It happens in the blink of an eye. Be grateful for today, as tomorrow isn’t promised. Mindfulness. Enjoy the moment. My, how quickly things change. Isn’t that what we all deal with? Enjoying the moment. How do you enjoy the moment. How do you not want more? How do you not think about how long it has been since I last saw you, or how long will it be again? How can you hold onto this exact joy, and not be sad that you don’t have that moment again. This is the week that I want to hold on to. This is the week, that I wish every week could be like.
But Wait. There were things I wished I could have changed. Why didn’t I take the whole day off of work to enjoy it more? Why didn’t I spend more time enjoying it? Why didn’t I find a way to make it last more? Do you see how quickly we can go from, this is wonderful, to wanting more, not appreciating what we have? With that I will start the TTOT, and think about how wonderful it was, and not what I don’t have today.
10) Holding onto the sunset. I went for my usual walk this week. Just around the block. But this time, the sun was setting, and I thought to myself, that I would walk a bit further and go to the top of the hill, where you can see out to the ocean and you can watch the sun set. As I turned the corner, the view took my breath away. It was stunning. Oh, how I wished I had my camera. I wished I could have captured that picture. I wished I could hold on to that exact moment for a few days. No problem, right? The sun will set tomorrow and I can come back and take a picture then. I know I wouldn’t have the same cloud formation. It wouldn’t be the exact same thing. But how different could it be?
The next day, I set out to take pictures. While on my walk, I think to myself, I have this one tree I love. I need to take a picture of it. I lift up my camera. Nothing. Nothing,except a sign, “Change your batteries.” WHAT??? I just did that about two weeks ago. So there is something wrong either with the camera or the batteries. Trying not to let the “gratefulness for the sunset” feeling leave, I calmly, state, that I am not that far from the house. I still have time. Time to go home, change the batteries and make it to the sunset. That is what I did. Head home, change the batteries. Then to rush to the top of the hill. The clouds are not the same. The sunset is not breath taking. STOP ! Appreciate the moment. Live in the moment. Enjoy the moment. Be grateful for what you have. Mindfullness.
Just then a guy walks to the top of the street with his guitar. He sits on the barricade and plays beautiful music on his accoustical guitar. He reminds me of my son. I stop and listen and look. This sunset. This sunset is beautiful and should be appreciated. This sunset is special. I have music I didn’t have yesterday. I have the sounds of the high school football game. It is homecoming night. The crowd is happy. I can hear the band and the cheers of the crowd. I hear the beautiful guitar music. Enjoy this moment. Last night is gone. Today is here. Mindfullness. What do you hear?,
9) Not all things work out perfectly. After all that, I came back and took a look at the picture I did get, and it wasn’t very good. But I must remember the moment was good. The moment was worth it. I did get some sort of a picture and I can remember that moment.
8) It happened finally. My son made it down here. Now, that may not seem like a big deal to many, but it was a big deal. I won’t go into all the details, but my son has not been here in a long time. I knew this wouldn’t last long. He arrived Monday night and left on Thursday morning. Two days. Not even two days really. I worked in the morning, and took off in the afternoon. He brought his girlfriend and her dog. Oh, we have so many stories. Her dog walked in and shortly thereafter peed on the furniture. She was mortified. Luckily, nothing in my house is expensive or worth worrying about. It was just a chair. It actually was pretty funny. I am happy to see them. I will live in the moment. I will enjoy each and every story.
7) My son finally got to meet his niece. His heart melting upon meeting her. There are no words that can express how glad I am he got to meet her. This is a moment worth holding on to for as long as I can. She loved to try and pull on his beard.
6) I made food. My son and his girlfriend are starving artists. They really are starving. They got ecstatic that there were cookies and breads and bacon and eggs and seven layer bean dip and cheesecake. It was wonderful to have someone to cook for. There were no complaints from them. There wasn’t any wishing for more or less. There were tons of thanks. I am sure they wished they could hold onto all this food for longer, but at least they did have some to take home.
5) The walk on the beach. Now, I live about 20 minutes away from the beach. It would be possible to walk on the beach every day. But then, I think to myself, I will get stuck in traffic, and I will have to pay for parking. I will have to go alone. This week I went with the family. It was wonderful. I saw a family with a little girl, that reminded me of my friend’s little girl. She was dressed in an adorable sundress. She ran into the ocean, and her parents, watching her, at first, said something about her dress, and they STOPPED. They enjoyed the moment, and they let her just have fun. It was just a dress. The joy she got from running in the waves could not be replaced. I thought of all the kids at home playing video games or competing on a team. They could not be having the fun this little girl was enjoying the moment. This made me so happy to see and I will hold onto that moment.
4) The walk on the beach part 2. The time we spent together on the beach was worth a second moment of gratitude. My daughter got to connect with her brother in the way she wanted. My granddaughter got to experience the ocean. She will not remember it, but she had fun. My son got to enjoy walking on the beach, the waves, the wind in your face. It was a moment I would love to hold onto.
3) The food. I am constantly on a diet. I have been for several years now. I have lost 100 pounds, and put a few back on and then lost a few. I am now 90 pounds lighter than I was at my heaviest. This is something to celebrate, but it is a constant struggle for me. I want to enjoy the food around me. I want to enjoy the moment. My kids are here and we are having special dinners, but I do not ever want to put that weight back on, and every week there is another excuse of things to eat. I really did enjoy the meals. It meant balancing. I ate a bite of everything. I also took care of my fussy granddaughter, so my kids could relax and enjoy the meal. I wasn’t able to really spend the time, trying to enjoy the food. I ate too quickly. But it wasn’t about the food anyway. It was about the time we were spending together. I will be trying to hold on to that moment.
2) Sobriety. My son is sober today. I am sure it is a struggle. He didn’t talk about it a lot. I tried to start conversations about how he was going to handle this. How was he going to get help. He has spent way too many years in a fog. It was hard not to just turn it over to him. I will be working on that. I will enjoy THIS exact moment of clarity and sobriety.
1) Now, for just a fun one. My granddaughter was sitting up by herself this week. She was sitting on the couch. She was so adorable. Just sitting there, playing with a washcloth. Cooing. This was a moment that you really wanted to hold onto. But wait. What is that I smell? She either farted or pooped. That is the real world. My daughter picked her up. She had pooped all over the couch. Yes, it was true baby poop, everywhere. Thank goodness, nothing I have is worth worrying about. We cleaned up the baby, and yes the couch got cleaned up. It is all good. Enjoy the moment. You never know when poop will happen.
I am reminded of an old movie, this week. I do not remember the title, but the theme is well etched in my mind. It is the story of a man traveling along. He goes over a bridge and finds a town. This is a town like no other. This town is not on his map. He meets a young lady and falls in love immediately. He soon finds out that this town only exists about once a century when certain things happen. He has a choice. He can stay in the town and only exist once in a century. He can come out and dance and sing and have a wonderful day, or he can cross the bridge and stay in the real world. The love he has met does not have that choice. She is stuck in this town. She can only exist for a day and yet she will live forever. If he goes back he can only remember this brief moment. He cannot hold onto time. There will be no other moments like this. He wants this moment, this feeling to last forever. How can he enjoy this moment, knowing it will soon disappear. Isn’t that what we all do everyday. Look to the future. Build for the future. But live in the moment. A moment in time.