Sometimes you make a commitment not thinking about what it means. I made a commitment to try doing some writing this summer. At first I thought I would write something everyday, thinking it would be a good practice. That commitment did not last long. I don’t think I wrote something every day. I was happy to write once a week, and a friend suggested that I write the Ten Things of Thankfulness posts. This became a good practice, and I decided that committing to once a week was quite enough for my busy life. The problem was I didn’t put an end date onto my commitment. Now, I must ask myself, if I quit writing, or if I miss a week, am I dropping a commitment or does life just change and there really are no commitments. This week has flown by and the time to write has been slim. I am thinking this will be a short blog, thereby making the commitment. Sometimes, when you cheat, you only cheat yourself.
The week started out nicely, with a friend taking me to a nice tea room. The food was delicious, but somehow, it must have had too much of something, as I didn’t feel that well afterwards. I was very thankful for this lovely time and I really enjoyed the time and the event.
The next day, my dear husband wanted to try and go check out the sand sculptures downtown. I was dreading the traffic, the parking, and the nightmare of a heat wave we have been having. I could not have been in a more fowl mood. Trying to be pleasant, we did make it to the event, found parking that while was on the street, was not free, but was much cheaper and closer than the pay to park lots. I tried to be pleasant, but I have to admit the heat did get to me. My lack of gratitude was probably rather obvious, however, I do have to say I am grateful to get out and do something. We did get the chance to discover a new section of town. There wasn’t a lot there, but I had been wanting to see it. Now, I can check that off my to do list !
Coming home tired from work one day, I was greeted by my granddaughter. My husband had been babysitting her, and he needed to leave, so I took over the babysitting time. My granddaughter was being fussy, tired and crying. I tried feeding, changing, rocking, walking. Nothing would make her happy, and I was tired. I tried putting her down, and she was not happy about it. My daughter came in to the room, her baby crying and lying in the playpen. I am very grateful that she wasn’t mad, and only took it upon herself to help the situation, putting baby in the stroller, where we went for a little walk, even in the midst of 100 degree temperatures.
I had another job interview this past week. I could tell that I was not really worried about getting the job, and really only gave the interview a cursory effort. I felt the questions were ridiculous. “How would you fit into our campus differently than other campuses?” I replied, “Well, I guess I would have to know more about what makes your campus different? Since I haven’t had any experience at your campus, I can’t answer that question.” I would have loved to have said, “Seriously, I have been doing this work in various capacities for 20 years, so I doubt your campus is any different than anyone else.” Another probing question was “What do you think you will be doing in ten years.” I know I should have said something to the effect that I would be working at this campus, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I am not exactly a spring chicken and who knows what I will be doing in ten years. Ten years ago, I didn’t think I would be looking for this job. After all that negativity, and feeling judged by others to not be up to their standards, I am grateful to have a job, and to have opportunities.
The weather here has been so hot and miserable. It is so very easy to say I am grateful for air conditioning. I do have one problem. My dear husband loves the heat and does not want to turn on the air conditioning. This has led to some whining and complaining on my part, and he finally gave in to let me have some for two nights. It was a relief to be able to sleep a little more comfortably. I may have to complain and whine some more, as the hot weather does not seem to be dissipating, nor does my husbands desire for a hot house. I am grateful to have a house, and to at least have some occasional coolness !
As I am typing this, I am constantly reminded how wonderful technology is. It lets me know when I have made a spelling mistake. Surely, it does not catch all my errors, but it is wonderful. I do remember trying to type a paper in college and getting to the end of the page, only to have an error and having to retype the entire page. Ah, youth today does not get that experience. I will enjoy and be grateful today for the technology.
I am very thankful that I have continued to hear from my son, that is struggling. He says he is through the detoxing stage, and will see his doctor on Monday. I don’t know where this will go, but I am grateful for today. I will pray that he will make a commitment to be healthy.
And I am grateful that my husband has a year sober. His anniversary is tomorrow. It has gone by quickly for me. I am sure it has not for him.
So, I have three more “gratefuls” that I need to think about. And I need to think about my commitments. I am grateful to continue writing. I am grateful for friends I have had encourage me this week. And I am grateful that I have been fairly healthy. I have been struggling with some sinus issues keeping me awake at night, but at least I have gotten some sleep.
Now I must consider what my commitments are. For now, I will continue to try writing. For now, I will continue to go to my job. For now, I will continue to try and help with my granddaughter, even if I am tired. That is all I can commit to…for now.