What Day is it?? Ten?? Eleven??
Today is a strange day. I received comments on my writing. I knew this was a possibility as I am putting this on the internet, but the thought that someone that doesn’t know me would read what I say and comment on it, has for some strange reason, taken me to a odd place. I am grateful for the comments. The page was about thankfulness and not letting negativity into our lives. One person commented that they still could hear the negativity. I had just finished rereading the page, and I had thought the same thing myself. I could hear the negativity that I was leaving out, and the negativity that was finding a way to sneak in. Obviously, I have some work to do.
I should have added to my being thankful that I have been able to take advantage of a diet plan that has worked for me. It is very expensive, and if I didn’t have the money for it, I don’t know what I would have done. I kept gaining weight every year, and could not get it off. I have now officially lost 88 pounds from my high weight. At one time, I had lost 100 pounds, but then gained about 25 pounds back..and now I am trying to get this under control. It is a fight every day. I guess I will add that to my thankfulness list next week. And yes, today when I went to Starbucks I ordered my coffee black, and then put in the half and half and not the non-fat milk. I tell myself that I deserved it, as I had lost over a pound this week, but in reality, it is just another excuse I have for not being disciplined.
There is the “old joke” about the person with a short attention span. They are talking about something and suddenly see a squirrel and yell “squirrel”. I feel like today is a little like that. My thoughts are flying all over the place, so I will talk about one subject and then fly off to somewhere else and come back again.
This page started as an experiment for me. I have a friend who does this and does a fantastic job at writing. I have always wanted to do this, but every time I tried to keep a journal, it would last a couple of days and then I would quit. Thanks to my friend for keeping on me to keep writing. I do appreciate those that read and leave a comment. Please do let me know what works and what doesn’t (squirrel !)
Right now I am in the middle of dealing with elderly parents and a new grandchild. I am dealing with the circle of life. I only want to deal with the grandchild. Dealing with the elderly is not fun. I have been going over to take care of my parents every weekend for a couple of years. It is not easy, and now has gotten even more difficult. Mom has Alzheimer’s and dad has a Parkinson’s condition. Mom has no mental capacity and dad has almost no physical capacity. It is totally unfair that this has robbed mom of all her memories. And it is totally unfair dad realizes all that is going on. Today we are keeping old people alive that have no quality of life. And now, I am so close to being there with them. I see people my age traveling and having a wonderful time, and I am being robbed of that time. I don’t have the money to do what others are doing, but to not have the time to do anything seems unfair. I am looking to putting my parents into a facility. I have some friends that have given up all their time to take care of their parents, and I think that is so wonderful I am just at the point I can do no more. I do feel like I am giving up.
I also got an interview scheduled for a new job. I don’t know if I will get it, but I am ready to move on to something different. It is only 12 hours per week, but it is two six-hour days, leaving me with three days that I could do something else. I think that will open some possibilities. I still won’t be able to do what I have always wanted, and I think I will be too old by the time the opportunity arrives, but at least this could be a step in the right direction. (Squirrel ! Where did this thought come from !)
There is so much happening on the political scene these days. I keep thinking I will make a comment or page on it, and yet, I see people saying things off the top of their heads, that have no thought. It will be sort of the “this person is terrible” type of comment, without knowing why a person has done something. So many assumptions are made. I don’t want to do that, so I have avoided making a comment. Hopefully, I can spend more time thinking about things, and making a better page on them.
So, for today, I have spent some time writing, and I can check that off my “to-do” list. This isn’t a page that will go down in history, but it is almost 900 words and I have put another day where I have spent some time writing. Thanks for listening. Comments are welcome but please be gentle with any critiques ! I am a beginner !