Day 2

Seems like an easy thing, just open a page and start writing. I get overwhelmed by this feeling that everything I write has to be exciting, interesting and just plain awesome.  This will not be that way. I am just putting one foot in front of another, and give this a try.

The news yesterday, showed a little boy who had lost his best friend to brain cancer. It was sad, but the boy decided to do something about it. (I am sure with the help of his parents).  He decided to put out a goal of golfing 100 strait holes in one day, and then to have people donate money in celebration of this accomplishment and for that money to go to pediatric brain cancer research.  It was an endearing accomplishment.  I don’t have goals that high.  Right now, I feel glad if I make it through a day.  I am trying, however to make a list of things to do.  The list so far is small, but I do want to celebrate my accomplishments along with taking responsibility for my failures.

Accomplishments so far this week:

1) setting up this website  2) trying to figure out the ins and outs of this site, like how am I suppose to make a list..seems like the site doesn’t work like I want it to…(patience grasshopper…) 3) attempting to get back into getting some exercise…Monday, was just a walk around the block two times, Tues was a mile on the treadmill and a short swim.  4) starting the list of to-do items and 5) trying to get my parents into a care place.

Now for the failures: 1) not starting with an amazing post 2) not figuring out how to make a decent list 3) feeling achy and like I can’t do another day of exercise 4) not organizing the list, and putting off several things that need to be done and 5) feeling overwhelmed by the things the care place wants me to do to get them in there.

Put those failures in with 1) sisters that simply want to sell all my parents things and be done with things.  I can understand it, since they live far away, but they really don’t understand that is not realistic right now, but I am put in the middle between my sisters, my husband and my parents.  I have no way of pleasing anyone.  2) Then yesterday, I also helped our caregiver take my parents out for lunch. It was pleasant, but exhausting.  3)Today, dad had the caregiver call and ask me to take mom to the luncheon of her neighborhood ladies tomorrow.  I don’t know these people, and don’t want to go, and feel guilty not doing it.  I know it seems simple, but seems like everyday, there is something for someone else I have to do.

What things do I want to do? I want to spend time with my new granddaughter and my daughter and really have some of the mother/daughter time we rarely have done.  I want to spend time sitting on my front porch reading.  I want to work on getting a better job. I want to travel. I want to go see my sons.  I want to deal with my life. Where will the time be spent. It is so short, and so precious and I am losing me to the demands of others.

Goals for the next two days.

1) enjoy the time I have with my daughter and granddaughter this afternoon.  2) write this blog today and tomorrow 3) get the one errand I really must do accomplished.

Patience grasshopper.  One step at a time.

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